Can I just tell you...

...how much I hate the saying, "I have a friend that started the adoption process and got pregnant". Who are these people that this works for? I don't know any. What's the statistic on this? I am pretty sure that most people who adopt don't get pregnant. It's almost creul to tell someone that. Does it mean if I don't get pregnant while tring to adopt, I am a failure in some way, more that I already am? My mother didn't get pregnant when she was trying to adopt me, so she must be a failure too, right?

Implantation Cycle #2

Today was the day. I took the day off from work and slept in until 9, took a shower, took my motrin, metformin, and estrace pills. I also got to insert a vaginal supository. My first one - all I can say is... lovely. Starting at 11, I had to start drinking 30 ounces of water. I did that and got to the clinic at 11:45. My proceedure was to start at noon. However, when I got into the room and they did an ultrasound, my bladder wasn't even full yet. I had to drink 20 more ounces of water and wait another 30 minutes. Once the bladder was full, they could begin. First the bad news, we had 6 frozen embryos, 5 survived the thaw, and 3 didn't grow. The good news is the 2 did make it to the 8 celled stage and were classified as good to excellent. 2 were implanted, so now I am on bed rest for 48 hours. I'll find out on May 10 if this works or not.

I got Tagged

No, not the graffiti kind, the kind you gotta share 6 random things about yourself. So here it goes…

1. I am an insomniac. I have a "restless" mind. I have learned over the years that if I put in a movie that I like, but I seen a few times, I will slowly tune it out and fall asleep in 15 minutes instead of an hour or more. However, I share a bed with my husband who needs quite. Solution? Wireless headphones. Now mind you, these are not for the faint of heart. Oh no, these suckers are HUGE. Like Princess Leia hair buns.

2. Speaking of that... What's normally in my DVD player for my nightly viewing pleasure? Star Wars! I honestly have seen all of the original 3 movies so many times, that I have memorized nearly the entire dialog. Go ahead, test me. :) You start a line and I can finish it. (Factoid: Did you know that in line "I have a bad feeling about this" is in every Star Wars movie?)

3. Ok - so I have established that I am a geek and proud of it. I work at a company where being a geek is embraced. But I do like some cool things, like NASCAR. I am not a redneck, but I sure do love the sport. I got hooked on it a few years ago and I am slowly initiating many Seattleites into the sport. It is usually on in the mornings on Sunday, so I can watch in my sweats and drink my latte. Yummm.

4. Completely random - I have an inexplicable fear of water towers. Don't ask.

5. I hate seafood. Now that may not seem too weird, but listen to where I have lived. I am a native Newfie from Newfoundland Canada where fishing is the main employer. I then moved to Bermuda, an island. Then I moved to the Azores Islands of Portugal. I lived in NH and now I live in Seattle. I am like a freak of nature in ALL of these places.

6. I love office supplies; Office Depot is like my Mecca. I love to be organized by using pretty colored organizational items. My office at work is quite cheery with all of the items I have surrounded myself with. I tell myself that this will make me more productive, but I am not sure that it actually helps, but who cares. :)

Woe is me

I am about one week away from implanation, when my good old friend, the ULCER, shows up again. And in a flamingly pissed off way. It flared up early Wednesday morning. I tried with all of my might to manage my diet and eat Tums to manage the pain in hopes I could heal it on my own. After 3 day and nights of agony, I broke down and filled the perscription for treatment. Trouble is, I don't think that I can take this medication if I am pregnant. Do I sacrafice this month's cycle to treat the ulcer, or do I plow ahead and implant in hopes of getting pregnant? I feel like my biological clock is about to run out and I don't want to waste more time. What to do? What to do?!?
:(

Go or no Go for launch

Drugs... Go
Hormone levels... Go
Ultra sound... Go
Nerves...
Nerves...
nerves?...

I am not sure on the nerves part of the implantation equation. I am glad to be doing this again, but I am scared as hell that it won't work again. My husband and I are very low key on this attempt. No one knows this time. My ulcer will serve as the excuse as to why I am passing up a coffee or a glass of wine.

For this implanatation cycle, we will be putting in 2 8-celled embryos. I am doing a delestrogen cycle this time as well. The last cycle was a slightly different protocol. This one is simpler. Turns out, I still had so much medicine left over from the last cycle, that I didn't have to order anything new, so my panic on Sunday was for nothing. Whew! Monday was day 1, so I hope to have 2 of my remaining 6 popcicle children implanted by end of month. I must say, I didn't miss the shots in the butt, but they are back again and at least they are not as scary as last time I had to do them.

Oops!

To say the very least. I am such a procrastinator! I was supposed to order my next round of implantation drugs for my next cycle, and I kept meaning to do it. However, while at work, when I was planning on taking care of it, I kept forgetting. Well, this morning, I found that my period had started and I have no medicine ready to go. Hmmmm, now what? I do have some drugs from that last cycle. I am hoping when I dig through it, I'll find what I need for this next protocol. Bad, Bad Mel! :(

Once again a Bridesmaid, never a Bride

Last night I was doing some work (yes, it was Saturday night and I was working, and I know that that makes me lame), when an email shows up in my inbox. Another friend is pregnant. As soon as I saw the title of the email, I just closed the email. I couldn't even bring myself to read it. I just broke down. My husband was very comforting and encouraging. The hard part will be on Monday when I have to see her at bowling. I should be happy for her, but instead it just leaves me to feel more and more inadequate.

____/\__ Hit a small snag

Thud goes the other shoe. My husband and I sent in our adoption paperwork to begin the process to adopt a little girl from China when we got some disapointing news. The wait for Chinese adoptions just doubled. To 2 years. Thud.

This changed everything when we heard this news. The original plan was to wait until after this next implantation session and get to the 2nd tirmester. We didn't want me to be 9 month pregnant if we had to go to China to pick up our little girl. Since the wait is now 2 years, this doesn't look like it will be a problem. (famous last words)

In other news... I got the cooking bug this weekend, so I looked through my Kraft magazine and found a few recipes to try. I am going to be fixing all of them and freezing them so that I can try to have home cooked meals during the next couple of weeks. After work, we usually hit a drive though or go into a grocery store for a frozen dinner. Hopefully these recipes will be good. :)