Adoption Option

D and I went to an informational meeting regarding international adoption 2 weeks ago. It was so emotional for me. I kept tearing up over and over. I could sense that other women in the room were feeling the same thing. Part of the informational was a woman who came to the meeting with her new daughter she adopted from China. The little girl was so adorable. D even got misty eyed. We decided to adopt a while ago, no matter what. Even if we are able to finally have a baby, we want to adopt. It's the right thing to do for us. I was adopted and I doing the same thing for another little girl would give me so much happieness and fulfillment. I am going to try to get anoter implantion cycle done in the next month before start the process. We want to know if we are pregnant and get through the first trimester before we start, that way, if I stay pregnant, then I won't be 9 month pregnant when it's time to pick up our baby girl from China.

The other news in my life these days is not so happy. I had been having some really sharp pains that just would go stop unless I ate something. It got bad enough that I went to the ER. It was discovered that I have an ulcer. :( I have to take medicine to help heal the ulcer, but that also means that I am on the medication for 6 weeks which will put off my implantation cycle another month. Part of me wants to stop the medication once my next period starts so I can move forward with IVF. I ain't getting any younger that's for sure. My ulcer I am pretty sure, came from my heavy drinking after the miscarriage. I was drinking about a bottle of wine each night. I just didn't care about me and what it was doing. So no more drinking for quite some time. Hopefully until there's a baby in this house.

Waiting...

Still waiting for my period. It's been 5 weeks exactly since I miscarried. I have heard that the period can return between 4 and 7 weeks. I really don't like all of the waiting. I always seem to be in some sort of waiting pattern. I had to wait until the lab was finished to get my IVF procedure, then I had to wait until they had an opening, then I had to wait and heal from my OHSS after the egg retrieval surgery, wait for the miscarriage, and now this. Wait. Wait. Wait!

Meanwhile, I can celebrate in the fact that today is my 5 year anniversary since I had my RNY gastric bypass surgery. I used to be morbidly obese (MO) and I had tried every diet and was failing miserably. PCOS has a statistic that shows that like 90% of PCOS sufferers are overweight. We tend to carry out weight like a man, up in the upper body, not in the butt and thighs like most women. There are other PCOS symptoms that are almost as lovely like facial hair, acne, and oh yeah, that whole thing about not being able to get pregnant! I lost 107 pounds and went from a size 24 to a size 4. I feel so NORMAL weight wise. I feel healthier. I can feel my bones! Here’s my story in detail.

This week I am in Orlando staying on the Disney property for a conference. We all went to Epcot for one of of the evenings. I haven't been here since I was at my pre-surgery weight and I couldn't fit in to many of the seat on the rides. I got to ride the rides I couldn’t before. Yea. I don't regret my difficult decision to have WLS, and I know that it saved my life.

Friend's Baby

I am very happy for my friend, she had her baby 3 weeks early on Tuesday. She was born 4 lbs 12 oz. and her labor only lasted 5 hours with out much discomfort. As great as all this is, it hurts... me. I want to be in her shoes. I am supposed to be 16 weeks tomorrow, and I'm not. Instead I am waiting for my period to return. How sad. Now the question is, when will it get here. The sooner the better. I want to try again.

A little backgound on me... I am adopted, twice. Sounds weird, but really isn't not. I was adopted by my Mom and, we'll call him, Dad#1. I was 10 weeks old. When I was 8 my Mom and Dad#1 divorced. She met another man and married him when I was 10. At the age of 12, I asked him to adopt me so now he is Dad#2. I feel that that they are both my dads and have both raised me for about the same amount of time.

I had never really considered adopting a child because I really wanted to have a child of my own, one that looked like me since I look like no one in my family. It was so important to have someone look like me. I know that this is selfish, but I really couldn't help it. However, things have changed recently. I found and met my birth family in '05. Having met a mother, father, sister, 2 brothers, a grandmother and several aunts and uncles, I don't have the uber desire to have my own. Don't get me wrong, I still want to have a baby, but the idea of adoption is back on the table. I think that I'd like to adopt a little girl from China. I went to Hong Kong last year, and I just fell in love with the area and the people. It just seems like the right thing to do.

I want to persue getting pregnant again, and then get past the first trimester, then begin the steps to adopt. Who knows, with any luck, we may end up with 3 children! :) Adopt one and have twins! A whole house full of kids, WOW. How wonderful to dream!