Nothing good can come...

...from the second ultrasound. I have never had a good sencond ultrasound, and nothing was different about this one either. Every single time I have had the 10 week u/s, there are dead babies. I was scared out of my mind going into this. Well, today was no different. After finally getting my head around that fact that there were going to be two babies and getting excited about it. After starting to show a little bit of a pregnant belly. After starting to share with a few people about it. The dream became the nightmare. Again. One of the twins was dead. It must have just happened. It looked almost normal except no heart beat. No nothing. Miscarriage #5. I am totally freaked out. Will the other die too? What did I do? Was it because I ate peanuts the other day on the plane? My husband is allergic to them, maybe the baby was too and I killed it. This just can't keep being genetic. The odds of that are unrealistic. Is my body poison to babies?

The other baby seems fine, strong heart beat, we even saw it doing a little wiggle dance, but is it just a matter of time or will this be for real? They want me back for another u/s in a week. I dread every second of it. Will it mean seeing another dead baby?